Our guide Suzy brought us to the Floating Market, about an hour and a half south of Bangkok.   This market had water canals instead of roads. We stepped into a “James Bond” boat and whizzed down a series of canals. As we sped along, water sprayed as high as the boat’s canopy; I nonchalantly munched down some Pad Thai we had gotten from a street vendor. The first few stores had boats full of smaller trinkets floating in front of them, and the solid shop had the bigger items. We could stop or go as we pleased, but the fact that our driver was behind us and next to a whirring motor caused a 50-50, “I didn’t hear you”, situation.  We saw shadow puppets made out of cow skin with the tan hair cut, but still attached to one side; we saw beautifully carved and painted masks of monkeys and demons, we saw thousands of small statues and useless trinkets; we even saw several boa constrictors to pet (not to buy)! As we entered the heart of the market, the stores were all on concrete and situated at about our head level; the trinket boats were replaced by anchored food vendors. We disembarked and shopped around the market. Here, I had my first real haggling experience ……I loved every bit of it, but the shopkeepers definitely did not. I was consistently bringing the prices down to one fourth or LESS of the original price. Suzy said I was better than her, but I don’t believe it. The art of negotiation comes down to several simple steps and a few things to keep in mind. 1)      When you see something you like, refrain from showing emotion. Casually approach and look at the object, appear uncaring. 2)      (I’m going to use a male shopkeeper) The shop keeper, seeing he has to persuade you or he will lose a customer, will walk over and give you a 400% to 800% overcharge. If it cost him 10 baht, he will try to sell it for 90 to 100 baht (30 baht equals one dollar). You must ask for a calculator if you don’t speak the same language, and punch in 1/10 of the asking price. TIP #1: It is almost guaranteed that at some time during the negotiation, the shopkeeper will turn to his buddy and show or tell him your counter-offer. They will laugh. This is a mind game intended to make you think that your price is laughable and if it succeeds you not only get an unfair price but you doubt yourself. Tip#2: Never smile. Keep a straight face and stare them in the eye. Even if you are my age, they will take you seriously if you do this. You are a buyer with money, nothing else matters. 3)      Let’s say I want a mask. He says “1,000 Baht”. Remember to ignore any reasons he gives before or after the price. Now I punch in 100 baht on the calculator. Calculators help because you don’t have to speak. This makes the shopkeeper rely on your face, which as I said before, should remain blank. He has no idea whether or not I’m bluffing. I see him drop the smile.  TIP #3 AND THE MOST IMPORTANT TIP!!!: Never EVER, give another price without the seller giving you a lower price first. Never negotiate against your own price. It shows doubt and uncertainty, and the shopkeeper can say no until you compromise yourself to the extent he wants.  TIP #4: If they say no. Stand there and wait. They will lower their price. 4)      The shopkeeper counters with 950 baht. Unacceptable. I counter with 105 baht. I see him get internally angry.  If he begins talking about how the item is worth the money, ignore it and wait. TIP #5: The man is still a human being; he needs to make a profit to get by. The more he lowers his price the more you should raise yours, BUT…still raise your price by small increments. 5)  By now we are haggling at a price of 825 baht. Before it gets too low, ask how much for two. (Only if you want to get two, if you want to get three, ask about three). I ask how much for two masks and he says 1200. Do not accept.  6)      Now say, “No.”, and start to slowly make your way to the exit. Do NOT say thank you!  Tip #6: NEVER SAY THANK YOU UNTIL YOU LEAVE THE SHOP FOR GOOD!  7)      When you try to leave, it will panic the shopkeeper.  He could tell you were willing to buy and he has already invested his time on you and ignored other customers.  He will quickly say “Wait, for you I make special discount, 800 baht!” Notice how my sudden attempt to leave caused him to quickly cut off a big chunk of his price. He needs to grab your attention before you really decide to leave.  8)      Haggle more. He will eventually dig in his heels. Try to leave again. Don’t say thank you.  TIP#6a: “Thank You”, is the kill phrase. It will ruin any chance of further haggling. Once you say thank you, you are saying that you are really and truly done, and this is not a mind trick. Thus resulting in the shopkeeper leaving to go haggle with another customer.  9)      Again, he will cut his price, but not as much, he’s beginning to catch on and he does not want to lose all profit. “600 baht!”  LAST TIP:  If you can, have a guide tell you what the fair price is before you start negotiating. Earlier I had found out that the fair price for a big mask was 500 baht. I decided that for two small masks I should not pay more than 500 baht, the price for one big mask.  10)   I say 375. He says 575. I say 380. He complains but offers 550. I say 400. He stares at me, I stare back. I wait. He says 545. I shake my head no. I wait. He says “Final offer, 500 baht for two!”  11)   By this time, I know that he is beginning to think about just saying no, and waiting for a careless tourist to blow 1,000 baht on a mask that by now we know is definitely not worth that much, so I give my counter offer, but very close to his, about 85 cents less. I say, “475 baht for two”.  12)   Stare. Blank face. Slightly leaning towards the door. Body language is key.  13)   He agrees silently, and then with a nod and the words, “o.k.”  His original asking price was one for 1,000 baht.  I got two for 475 baht, which is one for 237.5 baht.  I got him down to less than one fourth of his original price.  I chose the masks I wanted.  I ran outside to get the money and came back to pay.  14)   Again, he is a person with feelings. There is no need to leave him feeling completely upset.  15)   As you leave, say thank you as respectfully as possible, with their language and custom. I made the prayer sign with my hands and bowed to him while I said thank you in Thai. Then, flash a happy smile at him, make sure to look in his eyes. 16)   Wave as you leave. Note, this was one of my actual interactions. Continuing our market adventure, we snacked on sticky rice with mango, dim sum, and some fruit. We left the markets with full bellies and several shopping bags. I had one desire:  to negotiate some more! Thank you to Suzy and Small World Travel. Small World for scheduling this market, and Suzy for being one of the best guides you could ask for during our entire trip. ขอบคุณ! NOTE: we visited several markets in Bangkok as shown in the pictures. The first was the Weekend Market, then the Train Market where the vendors line the train tracks- and must fold up their stalls every time a train comes by! The last was the Floating Market which you must visit by boat.