I took a deep and joyous breath when my family passed through the gates. There was a massive village in front of us, people were bustling to and fro, and I could not help feeling a deep sense of joy. We were at, Parc Asterix!
We arrived at the first intersection and we decided to go left, on my Dad’s theory of, “Everyone goes right so we should go left.” We went left and found a 100-foot wide coliseum and entered. They were about to start a show, in which they were supposed to recruit legionnaires. In the story of Asterix, Rome has conquered all of Gual (France) and all that is left is one tiny village of invincible Gauls. So the Romans need more men.
The show began with a woman in a Gaulish outfit talking and singing a bit. About 10 minutes in to the show a Centurion man finally burst out of a gate and randomly chose 5 men from the audience to be legionnaires. They went on to the grass in the middle of the arena and waited.
Suddenly the door behind them opened and out came a cardboard Roman turtle of soldiers. They went inside and came back out shyly, dressed as legionnaires. The centurion then proceeded to direct drills and exercises which were hilarious. I could not believe how coordinated the volunteers were. They did a surprisingly good job.
Finally the woman came back out. She took a glug from a magic potion canteen and marched towards them. The legionnaires were then assigned by the centurion to capture the women. They were summarily destroyed. Just before she left, by some fluke, they managed to knock her out. They bound her and stuffed her in a box, and raised the box on a rope in the air. They opened the flaps and the box was empty!
They looked up and saw her on some scaffolding which caused the man to start screaming for the catapults. The catapults launched 4 men in to the air and for the next 10 minutes they did cool skydiving/trapeze tricks. When the men came down and took off their helmets, it turned out that they were the volunteers! We realized they were planted acrobats and actors!
When the show was over, we went on some rides before eating a horribly unhealthy lunch. We weren’t satisfied with that as our lunch, so we got a sausage at a stand and some waffles.
DAD: Then we went on Transdemonium, the Parc Asterix haunted house ride. This ride was either the best- or worst-conceived of the day. We joined a line of people entering an enormous building. It snaked through a very tight and narrow cement-lined corridor finally turning a corner. Around that, another corridor. Would the waiting be worth it? Up ahead we could hear screaming and banging. It sounded exciting. A long while later, we reached a room deep in the building, filled with mist. We filed nervously past chains and glowing eyes to discover... that the line entered yet another set of corridors! The screams and shouts were all around us now, coming from the public, with no way to leave. And here is where we got our money's worth: we began to experience actual horror. Could this have been deliberate? Were the designers mocking our innocent hopes for a few moments of scary but safe amusement? Was there a 'be careful what you wish for' morale to this story? After almost an hour of standing in the corridors with such thoughts, we spilled onto a mechanical sit-down ride, a brief while later we came stumbling out into the daylight. Most of the family did not enjoy this ride, but you must acknowledge the artistry to evoke terror for adults, yet leave the younger kids unaffected.
After lunch, we met up with our friends the Tabors. They live in Boston as well and Nathalie Tabor and Gina met playing tennis. As Nathalie is Parisian their whole family has come over to live in Paris several times and they are all now bilingual. But they had never come to Asterix! Her husband Stan and kids Elisa, Philippe and Adrian were all in on the fun. We attended a second show, “Stealing the Mona Lisa” full of Keystone-like French cops, a painter, a thief with a superb sports car, a thief who throws bombs, and an acrobatic lady thief who swoops in from the sky. The theives blow up a train, grab the Mona Lisa, the police give chase and death-defying hijinks ensue.
CARTER: After the show we went on a big water ride on what I call “Asterix Mountain.” I was in the front and we got totally wet.
We then split up. Nathalie, Elisa and I all went on a massive rollercoaster, while the others went to the flying chairs and kid rides.
The rollercoaster was amazing!!! It took us up for 30 seconds and we could see the whole park! Then we went dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn!!!! We screamed through the air and went through SEVEN jarring and stomach lurching, awesome, upside-down turns and loopty-loops! All of this in only 1 minute and 20 seconds.
We left the park smiling and happy; I can’t wait to go back!
We arrived at the first intersection and we decided to go left, on my Dad’s theory of, “Everyone goes right so we should go left.” We went left and found a 100-foot wide coliseum and entered. They were about to start a show, in which they were supposed to recruit legionnaires. In the story of Asterix, Rome has conquered all of Gual (France) and all that is left is one tiny village of invincible Gauls. So the Romans need more men.
The show began with a woman in a Gaulish outfit talking and singing a bit. About 10 minutes in to the show a Centurion man finally burst out of a gate and randomly chose 5 men from the audience to be legionnaires. They went on to the grass in the middle of the arena and waited.
Suddenly the door behind them opened and out came a cardboard Roman turtle of soldiers. They went inside and came back out shyly, dressed as legionnaires. The centurion then proceeded to direct drills and exercises which were hilarious. I could not believe how coordinated the volunteers were. They did a surprisingly good job.
Finally the woman came back out. She took a glug from a magic potion canteen and marched towards them. The legionnaires were then assigned by the centurion to capture the women. They were summarily destroyed. Just before she left, by some fluke, they managed to knock her out. They bound her and stuffed her in a box, and raised the box on a rope in the air. They opened the flaps and the box was empty!
They looked up and saw her on some scaffolding which caused the man to start screaming for the catapults. The catapults launched 4 men in to the air and for the next 10 minutes they did cool skydiving/trapeze tricks. When the men came down and took off their helmets, it turned out that they were the volunteers! We realized they were planted acrobats and actors!
When the show was over, we went on some rides before eating a horribly unhealthy lunch. We weren’t satisfied with that as our lunch, so we got a sausage at a stand and some waffles.
DAD: Then we went on Transdemonium, the Parc Asterix haunted house ride. This ride was either the best- or worst-conceived of the day. We joined a line of people entering an enormous building. It snaked through a very tight and narrow cement-lined corridor finally turning a corner. Around that, another corridor. Would the waiting be worth it? Up ahead we could hear screaming and banging. It sounded exciting. A long while later, we reached a room deep in the building, filled with mist. We filed nervously past chains and glowing eyes to discover... that the line entered yet another set of corridors! The screams and shouts were all around us now, coming from the public, with no way to leave. And here is where we got our money's worth: we began to experience actual horror. Could this have been deliberate? Were the designers mocking our innocent hopes for a few moments of scary but safe amusement? Was there a 'be careful what you wish for' morale to this story? After almost an hour of standing in the corridors with such thoughts, we spilled onto a mechanical sit-down ride, a brief while later we came stumbling out into the daylight. Most of the family did not enjoy this ride, but you must acknowledge the artistry to evoke terror for adults, yet leave the younger kids unaffected.
After lunch, we met up with our friends the Tabors. They live in Boston as well and Nathalie Tabor and Gina met playing tennis. As Nathalie is Parisian their whole family has come over to live in Paris several times and they are all now bilingual. But they had never come to Asterix! Her husband Stan and kids Elisa, Philippe and Adrian were all in on the fun. We attended a second show, “Stealing the Mona Lisa” full of Keystone-like French cops, a painter, a thief with a superb sports car, a thief who throws bombs, and an acrobatic lady thief who swoops in from the sky. The theives blow up a train, grab the Mona Lisa, the police give chase and death-defying hijinks ensue.
CARTER: After the show we went on a big water ride on what I call “Asterix Mountain.” I was in the front and we got totally wet.
We then split up. Nathalie, Elisa and I all went on a massive rollercoaster, while the others went to the flying chairs and kid rides.
The rollercoaster was amazing!!! It took us up for 30 seconds and we could see the whole park! Then we went dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn!!!! We screamed through the air and went through SEVEN jarring and stomach lurching, awesome, upside-down turns and loopty-loops! All of this in only 1 minute and 20 seconds.
We left the park smiling and happy; I can’t wait to go back!
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