I DEDICATE THIS BLOG TO THE JELLY BEANS After a tour of a young cave we drove for a long time until we arrived at our destination, a campground. The campground had lots of things to do, but we were there for one reason, soccer golf. Soccer golf has the same rules as golf but the holes are bigger and you kick a soccer ball instead of driving and putting a golf ball.  You count how many kicks you need to get the ball in the hole.  There were 18 holes, they took up 10 acres alone. We got our balls and began. In the first hole we had to kick the ball under a tractor and past a ditch. Then we had to get the ball through a giant bill-board cow’s legs. The second hole had a pond and the next thing we knew, my ball went “splash.” We continued along the holes until it started drizzling and we were soaking wet. The next hole was the coolest! A blue car was ten feet in the air on a giant black pole. There was a big dent in the door that looked suspiciously like a soccer ball. Though I didn’t know who could have kicked that hard and that high, even on purpose. Dad was first. Maybe it was the distraction of the car, or maybe it was the mud. But as my dad tried to kick the ball, he slipped and fell on his back. If you looked at him from the behind, he looked like a dirt alien. So I imagine it was the mud. My mom gasped. Dad got up and acted like nothing happened. Carter and I did nothing helpful, we just stood there laughing once we were sure there had been no real damage. My mom started yelling at dad as she pointed at all the rocks he could have fallen on. The next hole was behind a minefield of telephone booths. We tried to just get past them but our balls kept hitting them.  The one after that was a giant slanted dumpster that you had to get your ball into so it would roll into the hole. There was a little ramp you could kick your ball in so it would go into the dumpster and roll into the hole. Dad kept trying to lift the ball up with his foot and get it over the metal sides strait into the dumpster. It was a great idea in theory. Dad’s ball went “thump, thump, thump.” Against the side of the dumpster. Finally and victoriously, dad got his ball in. The next hole was the weirdest. You had to get your ball through a bunch of giant tires and then go around three bathtubs. I was very thankful for the drills we did in soccer practice. While dad kicked I admired the bathtubs and imagined that they would get filled up tonight with all the rain. We all got our balls into the hole, and guess what? The hole was a bathtub. Next we had to go through stone arches that looked like they would topple over and flatten our balls. And on the hole after that we had to get the ball over a hurdle. My dad was really good at that one. On hole 13 it started pouring, and mom quit. She took the keys to the car and went back to the little café. Carter, Dad and I thought the rain just made it more fun.  We walked to hole 14.  It looked like a giant’s sewing kit. There were a dozen empty spools of thread at least 6 feet tall. We went around all of them and through a set of poles. We continued through the last three holes until we got to hole 18. It was the simplest hole of all. It was just a hole in the middle of a big hill four or five feet high. When I tried to kick the ball up the hill, it rolled everywhere but in the hole.  Despite the hill Carter and I made it in the hole with four kicks and Dad made it in with five. When we arrived back at the café we found mom sitting at a table writing her next blog on a soggy napkin. As we were driving home I could not believe that we do not have soccer golf back home.  The Jelly Beans would love it!